Things I Learned About Kristoff
by The Fault In Our Kung Fu
Summary: The trolls say a lot of things about the ice harvester I love. My curiosity inevitably leads me to wonder if any of them are true. [Companion fic of "Things I Learned About Elsa" and "Things I Learned About Anna."]


**Things I Learned About Kristoff**

Hi, it's Anna again! Just as I've benefited so much from learning more about my sister Elsa, I've decided to execute the same method for Kristoff, with slight differences. The trolls, his loving and literally hard-headed family, claim a lot of things about him. I'm going to verify these claims, to see if any of them are true or false. Since my older sister made it quite clear that I can't marry a man I just met, this is a great way to learn more about the man I consider my true love (forget Hans…I'm one hundred percent sure about Kristoff, this time!). To my delight, Elsa gives her whole-hearted approval to this approach.

I'm really interested in how my findings will match up with what the trolls say. Are you? Let's find out.

**HE HAS A CLUMPY WAY OF WALKING. [true]**  
Kristoff is a mountaineer; I doubt that the rocky terrain calls for carrying himself like a royal prince. And with no one around to judge, he never bothered to change his ways. It's different now that he has become a big part of my life. His clumpy way of walking is particularly noticeable in the castle; he's so used to picking his way through all manners of rocks and upturned roots that he looks like a lumbering giant across the flat castle floors. Elsa and I would share little knowing smiles, but we never make fun of him for it.

After noticing how most people in the castle carried himself, I think Kristoff got the message. I notice him consciously making the effort to look more like my future consort rather than a common ice harvester. This is between you and me, but I just love the shape of his squared shoulders and the sure, confident swing of his arms when he walks straight. I wouldn't hesitate to trust him with my life, because I know he'd never let anything bad happen to me.

**HE HAS A GRUMPY WAY OF TALKING. [true]**  
I began to understand the more I knew about him. There's no room for softness in the life of an ice harvester. As a boy, Kristoff would tag along with the harvesters and learn their ways, sometimes the hard way as he braved the dark and cold to cut ice. The older men let him stick around, maybe taught him a few tricks of the trade. But none of them claimed responsibility over him; after all, they had their own jobs and families to worry about. Exchanges with customers hardly went beyond pure business. Some customers weren't always fair or easy to work with. Some were even downright rude. Brisk, gruff talk became Kristoff's defensive mechanism. He came to deal with people in the only way he knew how: if they didn't have anything nice to say like wanting to buy ice, he didn't want to hear it. He became disillusioned and bitter, quick to see the bad in people than the good. He'd push people away, finding comfort in his only friend Sven, who always stuck with him and never talked back like most people did.

In some ways, he reminded me of how Elsa used to be. I hope that me being with him will mellow him out. I want to show him the brighter side of life, a better side to people. I think he'll find the friendly villagers of Arendelle quite welcoming. Yes, it's possible to do something for someone and ask for nothing in return. I had that in mind when I gave him the new sled. No exchanges, returns or refunds. All I wanted was for him not to be grumpy, but to be happy.

**HE LIKES TO TINKLE IN THE WOODS. [indefinitely unverified]**  
Okay, I'm not _that_ curious. I prefer to be kept in the dark about this. Doing business in the woods is...well, his business. It's completely fine with me, if that's what he prefers (provided that the woods happen to be the only option). I trust him enough that I won't get his case about it. I mean, if I lived in the woods all my life, I'd probably do the same thing. Heck, even Elsa would have to do it if she was stuck in the woods. Well, she _did_ stay in her ice palace for a while, in the middle of a mountain…whoa. This is getting weird. I'd rather not talk about this anymore. Next!

**HE'S SOCIALLY IMPAIRED. [false]**  
Either he has improved since being with me, or I may be socially awkward myself, but I don't notice this. Kristoff has a sensible head on his shoulders. If it weren't for his common sense and practicality, I never would've made it to North Mountain. He's been learning to interact and get along with others better. Pabbie, Cliff and Bulda say it's thanks to me that he's been much more open to other people. Sometimes I'll stick around to see him carry on with his ice business, and he's been getting much better at going beyond strictly business and exchanging small pleasantries with his customers, like asking about their day or their family. Kristoff isn't one for small talk, but whatever he has to say is what he feels is necessary and honest. Like telling Olaf what would happen to him in the summer.

**HIS FEET ARE PEAR-SHAPED, SQUARE-SHAPED WEIRDNESS. [false]**  
Literally and figuratively speaking, the outside doesn't always reflect the inside. Underneath his ruggedness, I've seen how good-natured and sweet he really is. And there's more to his feet than the pointy, thick mountain shoes he wears.

During a beautiful summer day, we had a picnic outside the castle and no need to cover up our feet with shoes. I notice his feet resting in the grass, surprisingly soft and round. I think his feet are cute. Kristoff says I'm weird for thinking that, but the smile on his face tells me how much he appreciated that remark.

By the way, I now understand what he implied by foot size. Whether it really does matter is a question for another time.

**THOUGH HE WASHES WELL, HE ALWAYS ENDS UP SORT OF SMELLY. [true]****  
**Because of having such a close bond with Sven, it can't be helped that Kristoff picks up that musky reindeer odor. I think most people would be repulsed by the smell. Even Elsa, used to the clean and stately aroma of the castle, tries to put on a brave, polite face whenever he occupies her closed up study. But for me, when I smell that reindeer musk, I know it's him. I love my valiant and pungent reindeer king.

**HE'S GOT A "THING" FOR THE REINDEER. [true]**  
I don't think the trolls were implying bestiality (Kristoff loves Sven, but definitely not in _that_ way). I believe that they're simply referring to how close he and Sven are. To Kristoff, Sven is much more than a pet or even a loyal steed. The reindeer is practically his brother, and the two have been inseparable since they were little. Kristoff can't remember his real parents, but he can only guess that he has Sami origin. That would explain his connection and early first encounter with Sven, since Sami people are tribal reindeer herders. I love how Kristoff and Sven put aside their biological differences and share a unique brotherhood.

**THE WAY HE RUNS SCARED (I'm assuming in a weird way...?) [false]**  
Maybe the trolls just tease him, because from what I've seen, Kristoff doesn't seem to be scared of a lot of things. All the times I've seen him run, it's only with courage and determination. I know that better than anyone. I remember him running across the icy fjord, running for _me_. I remember that warmth in my frozen heart, being so moved by the fact that he came back when he could've just moved on with his life. Yes, he was scared. Scared of what would happen if didn't reach me in time. But more than that, he was determined to save me. Whenever I'm down in an emotional rut or feel like I've lost all sense of faith and worth in myself, at least there will be people like Kristoff and Elsa to lift me back up.

**HE COVERS UP "HONEST GOODS." [true]****  
**Elsa, Kristoff and I went for a swim in the fjord when I verified this tantalizingly intriguing tidbit. To clarify: we went for a swim just to relax, and I _happened_ to see if he really covered up honest goods or not. No, I didn't demand that we head to the fjord just so I can see him strip. That would be rude. Not to mention really weird.

Anyways, I always knew he was quite strong and stocky. But once he pulled off his clothes, one layer after another...wow. Years of harvesting ice and traversing mountains really gave him muscle and edge. I think I stared at him longer than I was supposed to. Not that I've seen other shirtless men to compare, but Kristoff was perfect. With a laugh he threw himself into the fjord, enjoying the cool water against the summer heat. It didn't help that the natural elements only magnified the perfection of his body. I loved the ripples of his back, his stomach…I can't decide which I liked more. Would it hurt to choose both? Oh boy. I better stop here before things get a little steamy. I can only imagine Elsa's face when she randomly opens up to this page and happens to discover my little confession. Well…she _is_ good at keeping secrets, right…?

**HE'S GOT A COUPLE OF BUGS [false]**  
When Kristoff and I kiss, I love running my fingers through his hair. I haven't seen or felt a single bug in it. His issue is secondhand reindeer smell, not actual dirtiness. Even then, the smell is just a minor thing I'm willing to disregard. If Kristoff ever gets plagued by any kind of bugs, you can be sure that Elsa would be the one to freeze them right off his hair.

**HIS ISOLATION IS CONFIRMATION OF HIS DESPERATION FOR HEALING HUGS. [true]**  
Reindeers and trolls can't give warm, soft human hugs. I know that Sven and the trolls care dearly for Kristoff, but they can't give him what he lacked and desperately needed for most of his life. His aversion to people who treat him roughly only makes him want contact with someone who would care for him. He could always hug Sven. But as he said, people smell better than reindeer. He could get hugs from the trolls too, but they're more like hugs from rocks since they're so solid and heavy. I could tell he really needed someone to hug, and I'm happy I could be the one to give him what he needed. I love his hugs, just as much as I love Elsa's. While hugs from my sister are cool, soft and comforting, hugs from Kristoff are tight, strong and warm. He never wants to let go, and I always feel a lingering warmth when he releases me with reluctance. I like letting him know that as long as I'm around, he'll never be alone.

I didn't know what love was before, but I think I'm confident enough to know by now. Love is seeing the best and worst in a person, all his strengths and flaws, and still welcoming him with open arms and holding on tight.


End file.
